When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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