Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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